Coolcat's Jottings » Thoughts

The Happy Bore

coolcat — Thu, 06 May 2010 04:04:01 +0000

My work takes me everywhere across the country

I’ve never been the one who’s always on the lookout for new things to do or see. I’m perfectly happy going back to old favourites – food, holiday destinations, lounge about at home, etc. There’s safety and comfort in the old and familiar.

Once in a while, I do break out of habit and go do something new, exciting and hopefully, cheap.

But my job which gives me all that – for free – has robbed me of the inclination of doing those things myself and with friends.

Now, whenever I have free time and stressed beyond belief, I’d rather bury my nose in a book, sleep, lounge about in my house or do the safe and familiar. I put my phone on silent mode and keep the world at bay. I decline invitations to go out and schmooze. Basically, I’ve turned into a bore.

But I don’t feel bored at all. After a good read, eats and sleep, I feel rejuvenated. A quiet moment in meditation and contemplation and prayer reminds me of who I am, my inner self and why I’m placed on this good earth. I feel happier and recharged and ready to take on the world once again.

To the eyes of the world I may be a bore. But this happy bore says the world can go hang. If my phone needs recharging time, so does the owner. So there :)

On Mars and Venus

coolcat — Sun, 21 Mar 2010 12:25:32 +0000

It is undeniable. Men and women do act like they come from different planets. John Gray’s classic ‘Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus’ is still evergreen and ever-relevant.

We don’t mean to hurt each other but even the best of intentions can come out sounding wrong. A good example would be the guy going quiet for days on end, leaving the woman to wonder if she did something offensive to turn him away.

John Gray has a theory for this – the ‘Going into the Cave’ syndrome. When guys have something stressful to deal with or a momentous decision weighing on their minds, they don’t talk about it like women do. They just disappear into their ‘caves’ or indulge in no-brainer activities as their coping mechanism. They can take hours, days, weeks or even months in the cave. When they finally emerge, ready to continue the relationship as if nothing had happened, the women, left to fume alone and feeling that the men have put them on low priority during the long silence, would be in no mood to talk.

John Gray also goes on to share that women also have their ups and downs. ”Women are like waves,” he writes. They give and give until they have nothing left to give, and then they crash. Nothing seems to go right and they seem to complain all the time. That is, until their wave rises again and they become their buoyant and happy selves again.

The wave thing might have a grain of truth. Something will trigger that downward pattern. If the woman has unresolved issues from the past (most likely childhood), the waves will happen regularly and go deeper.

With all these complexities in communicating between the sexes, is it any wonder that couples tend to have disagreements and arguments frequently? Perhaps not in the first six months or a year of basking in the bliss of a new relationship. But generally, as a rule, fights are common.

I’ve seen the happiest couples disagree with one another. What keeps them together is the respect they have for each other – to be fair, to not put each other down, to give each other the time and space to cool down, and to convey that it is safe for each other to express their feelings and to be committed to resolve the issues.

Relationships take work. There are no short cuts. Perhaps, like what John Gray advocates, if we learn how the other ‘aliens’ communicate, we can bridge that gender communication gap. And rediscover happiness in our favourite Martian/Venusian.

Sometimes I Hate FB

coolcat — Fri, 19 Mar 2010 06:54:33 +0000

What am I, chopped liver?

Facebook, or better known as FB, is a necessary evil. It has its benefits – it’s easier to keep in touch with acquaintances, friends and family flung at all corners of the world. And it’s a joy to reconnect with college mates and long-ago pen pals you haven’t heard from in yonks. It’s also a great way to get opinions and have random discourses of anything under the sun.

But I have a bone to pick about the convenience that FB brings. Especially when it comes to important news.

Sure, I’m thrilled when learning about an acquaintance or former classmate getting a boyfriend/married/pregnant/kid/new job/etc over FB.

Call me old fashion or what you will, but I will be most upset to find out news like this or any other important news on my loved ones’ FB pages. I’m not talking about receiving wedding/baby shower/dinner invites over FB message or other event invites, that’s just a modern way of inviting me to join that special moment in your life and I’m very happy to receive those. I’m talking about receiving updates via the FB news feed.

I’ll tell you why this grates me:

I have over 600 friends on FB. Most of them update their statuses a few times each day. That amounts to over 1,000 news feeds per day. The chances of me missing out on an important update is very high as I don’t comb through my news feeds religiously every minute of every hour of every day.
Reading an important update on someone’s FB status is equivalent receiving a breakup over SMS. It shows what little importance you place on our friendship/relationship. I don’t mind finding out what my only brother had for lunch or dinner over FB but if he announces that he’s getting married over FB and never bothered telling me first, I’ll be mega pissed. Especially when I’m the last to know and 25 other friends have congratulated him on his status comments. What am I, chopped liver?

To me, when I’m the last to know about the important stuff that’s going on in a close friend’s life, it’s a message that the friendship has degenerated to an acquaintanceship level. These things happen over a period of time when the friendship is not nurtured or both parties have drifted apart. If that’s the case, then, it’s fine. Life goes on.

But I cannot accept it if a loved one does something like this. A friend’s mother recently found out that she’ll have her first grandchild soon – over FB. Not even a call or an SMS to tell her the good news. She had to find out about something as momentous as this over her daughter’s FB page as she didn’t have an FB account.

I ask you this: If you were her, what would you feel?

Photo credits

No To Nooka

coolcat — Sun, 14 Mar 2010 16:02:24 +0000

The weather’s been utterly and horribly hot.

It makes the best of us wilt like soggy cabbages that someone forgot to put in the fridge. My brains are addled, my eyes are on half-mast all day and I just feel like saying ‘No’ to everything.

Especially to Nooka.

Just discovered this funky brand of watch today during a day out with the sistahs. At a glance, the watches looked cool. Futuristic, even.

But further inspection revealed that while the watches look good, they certainly make telling time a painful task. Just take a look at these babies:

Nooka - Making simple things like telling time, harder

I mean, look at them! I suspect those rocket-scientist wannabes may think this is the best thing invented since sliced bread. For plain ol’ me, just the thought of squinting under the bright sunlight and making sense of the dots and line lengths to decipher time makes me want to either weep in despair or tear my hair out in frustration.

Telling time should be a simple, no-brainer task. Not something like Nooka in a baking hot country like Malaysia.

Still, if I do ever get a Nooka watch (a pretty remote possibility but hey, they are not as pricey as they seem to be!) and if someone asks me for the time, I’ll just shove my wrist in front of their faces and let them decipher it themselves. That way, I’ll still look cool and not have to tax my melted brain matter. Heh.

Photo credits: Nooka

Year 2009

coolcat — Mon, 04 Jan 2010 01:35:47 +0000

Year 2009 has been awesome.

3 Most Unforgettable Moments in 2009

Learning to dive and getting my Advanced Open Water License (in Sipadan!!!)
Meeting a soul mate and best buddy (when one leaves, God surely provides another)
Participating in my first 10k run

3 Favourite Movies Watched in 2009

Inglourious Basterds
The Proposal
Star Trek

3 Favourite Animated Movies Watched in 2009

Cloudy With A Chance of Meatballs
Up!
The Princess and the Frog

Saddest / Worrying Moments in 2009

When my sistah was diagnosed with cancer
Tiff with a family member
When my best buddy’s buddy went berserk

3 Cutest Things I Saw in 2009

My baby nephew
Cute underwater creatures
My red 5th gen iPod Nano

Most Embarrassing Moment in 2009

Having to do the CESA (Controlled Emergency Swimming Ascent) skill test not one, not two, but THREE freaking times.

I Still Heart Blogs

coolcat — Mon, 04 Jan 2010 01:10:21 +0000

Blogs are meatier

In this day and age of microblogging over Twitter and Facebooking, blogs have taken quite a backseat. Sure, some bloggers still blog and blast their blog links on Twitter and FB. And when you google for stuff, you’ll mostly get blog links instead of Twitter and FB status updates.

But the fact of the matter is, with microblogging, people have less motivation to blog these days. Have a quick thought or question in your mind? Just post some status updates. Have a funny photo to share? Just snap it with your mobile phone and do a mobile/Twitpic upload.

And the coolest part of all this microblogging business? You’ll get instant responses and comments. Sometimes in mere seconds.

I’ve even been blessed with a GPS unit from a generous friend just because I queried (on FB) about the merits of having a dedicated GPS unit vs. a GPS software running on a mobile phone. I’ve also received a Google wave invite, coupons, etc via FB and Twitter. Not to mention the latest news and rumours fresh from the oven.

So with all these activities going on at social networking sites, it’s been a while since my list of favourite blogs have been updated (so is mine, I’m sheepish to say!). On the rare occasion that I stumble upon a good one, I will make sure that I bookmark it and leave an encouraging comment behind. Blogs still and will always have a special place in my heart.

Microblogs are but appetisers whereas blogs are the meatier deal.

Haha

coolcat — Sun, 27 Dec 2009 15:33:43 +0000

About 6 years ago, I was traipsing along Brooklyn Bridge, New York. It was a beautiful day. The sun was shining, the skies were blue and the bridge looked magnificent. I was one of the hundreds walking on the bridge. And then I passed a girl sitting on a bench.

Now, the bridge was quite a long stretch to walk. So there were a few benches strategically placed along the way.

The girl who caught my eye was sporting a pony tail, had green fingernails, chewed gum and wore a long T-shirt over black tights. Her slim body was curled on the bench while she read a book.

The book title was ‘The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People’.

Quite a number of pedestrians who walked past her, raised their eyebrows and/or hid their smiles. I was one of them. ”Why would a girl who’s serious about being a highly effective person be doing loafing on this bridge instead of doing something, well, productive?”

She probably knew what we were thinking – she was smiling broadly as she read the book. But she didn’t give two hoots about what we thought.

Fast forward to the present. I was reading a book the whole of yesterday. It was pretty riveting and potentially life changing. Right after I read the book, I declared to my amused brother that I was too lazy to do anything more and took a nap – which stretched to over 4 hours.

The title of the book?

10 Habits Of Highly Successful People.

Heh.

The Problem With Jiwang Songs

coolcat — Mon, 14 Dec 2009 09:25:41 +0000

I’ve always liked ‘Sampaikanlah Salam’ by Alleycats. The beat is cheerful and the tune catchy. I’ve never thought much of the lyrics until McUser pointed it out to me recently.

“It’s far from a cheerful song lah,” the Alleycats fan said smugly.

And so, I took a closer look at the song:

Sampaikanlah salam cintaku padanya (Please send her my love)
Walaupun terluka namunku merindu (Though I hurt, I still miss her)
Kerana cintaku tiada akhirnya (Because my love is never ending)
Walaupun kau telah menghancurkannya (Even though you have shatter it)

Sampaikanlah salam cintaku padanya (Please send her my love)
Walaupun sengsara namunku masih sayang (Though I suffer, I still love)
Kerana cintaku mewangi dan harum (Because my love is fragrant)
Walau tercampak di mana jua (No matter where it is thrown to)

Andaiku tiada, andaiku pejam mata (If I’m gone, should I die)
Biarku abadi, cinta yang setia ini (Let me live forever in this pure love)
Biarpun kau jauh, sambutlah salamku (Though I’m far, receive it)
Kerana aku masih menyayangimu (Because I still love you)
Tidak pernah aku membenci dirimu (I’ve never hated you)

Blimey, the dude was right. The whole song reeks of jiwangness! Egads!

Jiwang is a Malay slang for ‘emotional’. I steer clear away from such songs. If you are sad and broken hearted, these songs will sink you further into despair and hopelessness. If you are secretly crushing on someone, the songs will exacerbate your longings and anguish at unrequited love. If you are happy and in love, they will make you ‘angau’ – lovesick.

Think about it, do the following lyrics contribute to you being a happy and healthy individual?

… I can’t live, if living is without you….
… How am I supposed to live without you…
… What can I do to make you love me…
… Can’t you just love me, you stupid fool?…

In short, these songs make you sappy at best and suicidal at worst. Here’s the thing, there’s no use pining over someone who doesn’t want you. Life is so much better without that louse, trust me.

Here are my suggestions of alternative songs that will get you off your fanny, get over your grief and moving towards fun and life:

Broken hearted? Listen to ‘I Hate Myself for Loving You’ by Joan Jett and the Blackhearts
Unrequited love? Listen to ‘Keep Me Hanging On’ by Kim Wilde

Say no to depressing love songs!

Pisau Cukur & Changes

coolcat — Fri, 27 Nov 2009 03:37:27 +0000

Pisau Cukur was hilarious! Glad I dragged McUser to watch this with me. He enjoyed it tremendously (albeit with red ears), lol.

The part that had me wail out loud with laughter was Rahim Razali lovingly flicking the golden buttons of his briefcase. The hamsap and dreamy expression on his face was classic. It’s so awesome seeing a normally sedate and respectable actor venture treading into murkier roles. If he can make such a change in his twilight years, then so can we, younger ones.

Sigh, changes. That is the only constant thing in life, isn’t it?

Recent happenings had me thinking of doing things I wouldn’t dream of doing before. I’m a firm believer that fear should not hold one back from achieving all that one could and should. In some measure, that has been my mantra and way of life since the past two years. But there is still room, so much more room that is filled with this irrational creature called fear. Maybe it’s time I start applying that belief into those other horizons.

Maybe.

This is a song D shared with me. Couldn’t relate to it until today. It’s just so… apt.

The Redundancy of 1Malaysia

coolcat — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 09:43:55 +0000

Long long ago, in a galaxy not too far away, and definitely light years before the incessant branding of 1Malaysia came about, my friends and I were already living and relating with each other as one community.

In our majmuk (multi-racial) group, you can find folks from every age, race, religion, gender or economic status. Chilling out and hanging out together was never a problem – there are plenty of places that can accommodate our differing tastes in food and ambiance. In fact, our differences extend beyond food. Not everyone of us share the the same interests in books, music and travel comfort preference.

All we know is that we share the same wavelength, have oodles of sense of humour, and a healthy amount of acceptance and respect for each other.

This is something we grew up with and naturally incorporate into our lives. Yes, waaay before 1Malaysia came into play. If you are not at peace with people who don’t look like you nor believe the same things you do, no amount of ‘indoctrination’ or splashy racial unity campaigns can change one jot of your heart. Have you ever tried to change a bigot’s mind about his/her stand? You’d have a better chance telling a pesky fly not to land on your food.

Similarly, if you are already one with your fellow Malaysian buddies, you don’t need to be reminded to put unity first and foremost in your everyday dealings. It’s already so much a part of you and as natural as breathing. The line has become so blurry that you don’t even see your friend as a different race anymore. And when you grow up in Malaysia the way we did, the line never even existed.

1Malaysia ain’t a new concept. It’s always been there. So let’s move on, put the 1Malaysia campaign moolah where it counts to make this country a better place for all of us.