Sometimes I Hate FB
What am I, chopped liver?
Facebook, or better known as FB, is a necessary evil. It has its benefits – it’s easier to keep in touch with acquaintances, friends and family flung at all corners of the world. And it’s a joy to reconnect with college mates and long-ago pen pals you haven’t heard from in yonks. It’s also a great way to get opinions and have random discourses of anything under the sun.
But I have a bone to pick about the convenience that FB brings. Especially when it comes to important news.
Sure, I’m thrilled when learning about an acquaintance or former classmate getting a boyfriend/married/pregnant/kid/new job/etc over FB.
Call me old fashion or what you will, but I will be most upset to find out news like this or any other important news on my loved ones’ FB pages. I’m not talking about receiving wedding/baby shower/dinner invites over FB message or other event invites, that’s just a modern way of inviting me to join that special moment in your life and I’m very happy to receive those. I’m talking about receiving updates via the FB news feed.
I’ll tell you why this grates me:
- I have over 600 friends on FB. Most of them update their statuses a few times each day. That amounts to over 1,000 news feeds per day. The chances of me missing out on an important update is very high as I don’t comb through my news feeds religiously every minute of every hour of every day.
- Reading an important update on someone’s FB status is equivalent receiving a breakup over SMS. It shows what little importance you place on our friendship/relationship. I don’t mind finding out what my only brother had for lunch or dinner over FB but if he announces that he’s getting married over FB and never bothered telling me first, I’ll be mega pissed. Especially when I’m the last to know and 25 other friends have congratulated him on his status comments. What am I, chopped liver?
To me, when I’m the last to know about the important stuff that’s going on in a close friend’s life, it’s a message that the friendship has degenerated to an acquaintanceship level. These things happen over a period of time when the friendship is not nurtured or both parties have drifted apart. If that’s the case, then, it’s fine. Life goes on.
But I cannot accept it if a loved one does something like this. A friend’s mother recently found out that she’ll have her first grandchild soon – over FB. Not even a call or an SMS to tell her the good news. She had to find out about something as momentous as this over her daughter’s FB page as she didn’t have an FB account.
I ask you this: If you were her, what would you feel?
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Yes it is pure eeeevvvviilllll…. I have a love hate relationship…it used to be fun but not anymore….and yes I would not want to receive any good or bad news thru FB … esp from loved one :(
Yalor :( FB’s ok for casual stuff. Me no likey if people use it for serious stuff including character assasination.
Using FB for important announcements shows insensitivity and laziness. It is also inappropriate. Feels good to get that off my chest!
Awwww, hope you are not speaking out of experience. It sucks, I know.
But that is the reason Facebook came into existence – to give people a virtual world of communication. All of us are becoming more virtual and I suppose some have used it not so much for convenience but as a deeper emotional tool.
In the case of that birth news by FB, you’d never know the details of the new mother. She might have had post natal depression and still had to spread the news, and could have used FB as a tool to survive the demands of society (eg mother in law).
In the case of the grandma-to-be, the daughter-in-law is still in the early stages of pregnancy, very happy and broadcasting her experience for all her fb friends to see – except for her mom-in-law. Ditto goes for her husband/the son.
FB makes it very very convenient to share the most intimate news to the strangest and most distant of our acquaintances. If the sharer wants to share such news to all and sundry, it’s their prerogative but if the sharer is very close to me, then I would expect to be amongst the first to know. FB or any other social media tools shouldn’t change the hierarchy of news sharing.