A Less Frustrating Way

As I prepared to leave for a long weekend away, I realized that I should make amends with a loved one before I leave. Anything can happen and I wouldn’t want the last memory of our interaction to be a sour one. It wasn’t easy but as we talked, I realized that it takes two to tango. And as much as I assert inwardly that “I’m just human, there’s only so much I can take!”, the other person was thinking the same, too.

So what does one do?

Swallow down whatever pride one has, and ask for more grace from God to see things His way. Seeing things from the other person’s point of view helps to a certain degree. But it can cause false guilt and shame to be piled on you. And seeing things from our own myopic view is not usually the best thing to do. After all, it’s only one side of the story. And friends, no matter how objective they are, will almost always be on your side. Again because they are only hearing one side of the story. And it’s their role to support you no matter what. As for therapists/counselors, they are there to help you process your thoughts and feelings. Sort things out so that you can see the situation more objectively and to own your contribution to the problem. But only when you are ready to face up to them.

Oh, and it also helps to communicate constantly. This goes a long way to dispel untruths, doubts and suspicions from creeping into the relationship. Not many people are blessed with naturally rosy, smiley faces. Time and again, you’d be surprised to note that the person you thought to be a sour puss is actually someone very sweet and amiable on the inside.

In short, we are all humans. We are all at par with each other. To expect the other party to change first before we do is to expect the mountain to go to Muhammad. To change and to grow ourselves is so much easier than that. Less frustrating, too.

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