As I prepared to leave for a long weekend away, I realized that I should make amends with a loved one before I leave. Anything can happen and I wouldn’t want the last memory of our interaction to be a sour one. It wasn’t easy but as we talked, I realized that it takes two to tango. And as much as I assert inwardly that “I’m just human, there’s only so much I can take!”, the other person was thinking the same, too.
So what does one do?
Swallow down whatever pride one has, and ask for more grace from God to see things His way. Seeing things from the other person’s point of view helps to a certain degree. But it can cause false guilt and shame to be piled on you. And seeing things from our own myopic view is not usually the best thing to do. After all, it’s only one side of the story. And friends, no matter how objective they are, will almost always be on your side. Again because they are only hearing one side of the story. And it’s their role to support you no matter what. As for therapists/counselors, they are there to help you process your thoughts and feelings. Sort things out so that you can see the situation more objectively and to own your contribution to the problem. But only when you are ready to face up to them.
Oh, and it also helps to communicate constantly. This goes a long way to dispel untruths, doubts and suspicions from creeping into the relationship. Not many people are blessed with naturally rosy, smiley faces. Time and again, you’d be surprised to note that the person you thought to be a sour puss is actually someone very sweet and amiable on the inside.
In short, we are all humans. We are all at par with each other. To expect the other party to change first before we do is to expect the mountain to go to Muhammad. To change and to grow ourselves is so much easier than that. Less frustrating, too.
Apparently, across the airwaves today, this question was posed:
“Only losers stay at home on Friday and Saturday nights. True or false?”
Annie, Twinnie and I were outraged at this question.
“What kind of juvenile thinking is this?” we asked. And it’s true. Just because someone decides to stay at home on those two nights doesn’t make them a loser. It’s just another valid way of spending time.
I’ve lost count of the number of times I stayed at home or wished that I was at home on those ’sacred’ nights. After a long hectic work week, all I want most is to chill out. Unwind. Hang loose. Not go out dancing at some seedy and smoky discotheque with some hot friends thinking, “Wowee, this is so cool! I’m so glad I’m not at home on a Friday night like some loser!”
Annie and Twinnie thought the same. There we are – the three of us, hanging out in our favourite Indian restaurant. On a Friday night. But the fact of the matter is, we didn’t feel like we were out. The place feels like home to us. We’ve been there so often that the waiters know our usual standard orders, how Annie likes her Masala tea and even Annie and Twinnie’s names. They only know me by face, because I haven’t introduced myself to them. I don’t normally give my name or become too chummy with restaurant owners and waiters. It makes it easier not having to explain to them if I haven’t visited them for a long time or if I’m caught enjoying the dishes of a competitor. To put it simply, I prefer our relationship to be carefree, easy and guilt-free.
“Technically, we are out. But don’t you guys feel like we are at home unwinding?” asked Twinnie. At our nods, she went on to say, “So, does that mean we are losers??”
Definitely not. Not in a place where everyone (well, almost!) knows your name. So tonight, I did something that I should have done years ago. I introduced myself to our waiter. I don’t have to hide behind a mask of semi-anonymity anymore. I’m home. On a Friday night.
You know you lack sleep when people start commenting this:
“What happened to your eyes?”
“Why, what’s wrong with it?”
“You look like you haven’t slept in days.”
I got that exact same remark twice this week. Enough is enough. Slept early like a good girl last night. Although being a good girl tonight might be a little difficult. It’s Friday night after all.
After many calls from the Chek Hup sales person to locate where I was – the poor thing was unfamiliar with my territory, I finally got the precious package yesterday. Here it is in its full glory!
I can’t emphasize enough how elated I feel. Thank you, Chek Hup for making a good day even better!
For as long as I could remember, I have always been intrigued with the mystery behind Kellie’s Castle. And so last weekend, I finally got my chance. Tim, Annie and I went for a long-awaited for road-trip to Ipoh. Food, white coffee and photo taking of Kellie’s Castle were the agenda for the day. And we managed to complete them all in spite of the on-and-off rain.
Needless to say, the white coffee at Jalan Bandar Timah was to die for. My first ever authenticly brewed White Coffee that doesn’t come out of a packet. Was it better than Chek Hup? You bet! :P
Do enjoy the pics taken of Kellie’s Castle and one of HSBC, Ipoh. There was quite a crowd of people visiting Kellie’s Castle that day. Good to know that it’s still attracting people from all over Malaysia – spotted lots of Wilayah and Selangor license plated cars there.
HSBC, Ipoh. It’s one heck of a majestic building.
My first glimpse of Kellie’s Castle from the car park.
This pic somehow gave me the goose bumps…
Welcome to Kellie’s Castle
The Moorish influence on the architecture was really apparent throughout the castle’s ruins
There was a sense of sadness at the abandoned castle. There were so many rooms and plans for it that just wasn’t meant to be. This courtyard is just one of the many symbols of Mr. Kellie’s broken dreams.
Look at this… I can’t help feeling like I was in Spain!
Just got this today hot from the oven. Check out the video of my joint bday celebration with Hath (6 months after her birthdate but still, we need to celebrate, kan?) and some pics!
Thanks for making the time to share our joy in growing more mature and beeyootifool. Denise for the prettiest cake a friend has ever baked me. Paulos for the video. Twinnie for availing your cosy place for me to bunk in and for the lovely dim sum feast the next day. Hath for the swanky Coolcat gift – so happy to share a birthday celeb with ya! Azmi, Evie for being there. Tim for your Ipoh road trip pre-taste gift and that magnet. Emily for your sweet presence and hand made gift – loved it! Sistahs (that includes you, Annie!) for the awesome Pictionary gift! Wei, wasn’t easy to feign surprise, ok? Especially when I was involved in the planning committee of ‘What To Get For Ariel’s Birthday’. I so deserve an award for that as what Sistah Paulos said.
Guys, thank you so much for making our birthdays so special!
Celebrated my month-long birthday with more of my favourite people yesterday night. There was eating, laughter, singing, yakking and more singing. In short, it was a blast.
Twinnie and I had a nice time unwinding at her cosy place. We reflected upon our past birthdays and agreed that age doesn’t just give people fine lines and gray hairs, it also brings about a sense of acceptance and confidence in being who you are.
But before you can reach this stage of acceptance, you need to first go through a journey of self-discovery. You need to know why you are the way you are. What triggers you, what motivates you, what healthy boundaries you should erect, your strengths, giftings and weaknesses, your personality. The list is pretty exhaustive. Those discoveries are vital towards personal growth. But unless you learn something from them and apply them in your life, they will just remain nothing but a navel gazing exercise.
In the past few months, I realised that I’ve never been happier nor more contented. In the external, everything is still the same. I still live and work at the same place. I still have the same hobbies. What changed was that I’m seeing the fruits of the journey of self-discovery and healing that have begun years ago. I’m beginning to be free from patterns that I was subconsciously reacting to. And I realised that I am complete even without the things that I thought I lacked.
And this is a brand new and exciting season indeed. There is a time for everything. A time for reflection. A time for learning and adjustment. A time for living and celebration. The cycle continues. And more that ever, this year’s birthday marks that time for life, love and laughter.
Thank you for supporting our brand – Chek Hup White Coffee.
Our company noticed that you have mentioned our products frequently and seems to enjoy the white coffee we produced.
As a token of appreciation, we will sent you a carton of our company’s products including white coffee, teh tarik and hot chocolate.
Please email us the address and contact where our company’s marketing people can give you the product.
For your info, when you tongue felt sassy and sharp when drinking coffee from other brands, it could be the result of too much artificial flavours such as coffee flavour, ginseng flavour etc
It is our company’s policy not to use any artificial flavouring in our products.
Thanks and best regards,
Ms Leng
I couldn’t help but squeal out in joy right there in my office cubicle. This is like a dream come true! Chek Hup noticed my humble blog!!! I quickly told my colleagues and online friends about this bit of good news and they were esctatic for me. Quite a few of them have turned to Chek Hup devotees because of my tireless promotion of it. After all, you couldn’t help but mention something you absolutely love very, very often, eh?
I couldn’t help but think of how my tombstone would be like.
Here lies Ariel – the evangelist and poster child of Chek Hup. She will be dearly missed by fans of the brand.
Surely not what my pastor would want to see etched on my last monument of existence :P
The shots used in this blog entry are not Chek Hup coffee. They are merely representatives of the coffee clan :) Had the Java brew this morning. But don’t tell Chek Hup that :P
Okay, here’s where I’ve been spending most of my free time lately. It’s a real cool way to keep in touch with folks. I even got re-connected with friends that I haven’t seen in years!! It’s way cooler and more interactive than Friendster.
When I first heard of it, I gave it a pass. See, I wasn’t keen on joining yet another social networking site. It’s just one more avenue to get more spam. Or so I thought.
Then a friend said that I could only get exclusive preview of her pics not posted anywhere else – but Facebook. Yet another friend tantalised me by saying that I could actually play Scrabble with my buddies on Facebook.
And so that was the story on how I got hooked. Now I start my day by changing my status, poking a few people, play some moves on Scrabulous during lunch break, check for updates on my friends and groups and super poke some more people before I call it a day. Social networking has never been this easy. Go global, go Facebook!
To give you an actual picture of what Facebook is really like, tune in to this hilarious choir. I got it from (where else?) a friend who sent it to me via Facebook.
Apparently, across the airwaves today, this question was posed:
