Love Is… Separateness

Individual apple crumbles

What happens when a very dear friend tells you that she’s toying with the remote idea of moving closer to you? If you really love that friend, you’ll think of what’s best for her. And what’s best for my friend in this case is to be rooted and grow where she is. For that is where her heart is. So that was what I responded and squashed all the delightful thoughts of being able to spend quality girly time with her again.

‘The Road Less Travelled’ by Dr. Scott Peck states that true love has an element of separateness in it.

The essence of the chapter was that everyone has to go through self-growth alone. No one can do the growing for you. They can encourage you, teach you but they cannot force you to grow or make you grow. You owe it to yourself to grow to the best that you can be for the glory of God.

True love is wanting the best for someone by letting the person grow separately from you to be the best that they can be and fulfill the purpose that God has for them. Wanting someone to meet your needs or change to be the person that you want them to be is not love, but a form of narcissism.

Interesting, isn’t it? If you love someone, let them go and grow. When the time is right for the two of you to be reunited, it will happen – and not a moment too soon.

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