The past couple of weeks have been nothing short of DRAMA. Two misunderstandings, one showdown, one muggery, one battered victim, all rolled into one. That’s how dramatic it was.

And I still managed to read two mystery novels to completion. The thing was, I realised that real life IS stranger than fiction. I read ferociously to escape this crazy world that is mine for a while. Reading about other peoples’ problems and bafflement about dead bodies that insist on turning up when you least expect it made me instantly grateful that there are no dead bodies embroiled in my dramatic couple of weeks.

Also, having friends who understand helped an awful lot. I know that I’m not alone.

Got this in my inbox today. What a nice way to encapsulate timely truths!

Easy is to get a place in someone’s address book.
Difficult is to get a place in someone’s heart.

Easy is to judge the mistakes of others
Difficult is to recognize our own mistakes

Easy is to talk without thinking
Difficult is to refrain the tongue

Easy is to hurt someone who loves us.
Difficult is to heal the wound…

Easy is to forgive others
Difficult is to ask for forgiveness

Easy is to set rules.
Difficult is to follow them…

Easy is to dream every night.
Difficult is to fight for a dream…

Easy is to show victory.
Difficult is to assume defeat with dignity…

Easy is to admire a full moon.
Difficult to see the other side…

Easy is to stumble with a stone.
Difficult is to get up…

Easy is to enjoy life every day.
Difficult to give its real value…

Easy is to promise something to someone.
Difficult is to fulfill that promise…

Easy is to say we love.
Difficult is to show it every day…

Easy is to criticize others.
Difficult is to improve oneself…

Easy is to make mistakes.
Difficult is to learn from them…

Easy is to weep for a lost love.
Difficult is to take care of it so not to lose it.

Easy is to think about improving.
Difficult is to stop thinking it and put it into action…

Easy is to think bad of others
Difficult is to give them the benefit of the doubt…

Easy is to receive
Difficult is to give

Easy to read this
Difficult to follow

Easy is keep the friendship with words
Difficult is to keep it with meanings.

I lay on my bed. Blinked unseeingly at the ceiling. Hugged the bolster closer to me and chewed on my lip. I get like this whenever there’s some great big thought churning about my head.

It’s been a long while since my dad sat me down to talk about my future. And that would be the time right after I finished my SPM examinations.

“So, what do you want to do in life?” was the question.

So many things raced through my mind. I wasn’t sure about choosing just one thing to do. I wanted to do all of ‘em! Seeing that I was suddenly struck dumb, he asked me if I would like doing computing stuff. And if I should discover that I don’t like it, I can always do something else. Like accounting. It was a no-brainer choice, really. I’d give computing a go and by jove, I will LOVE it. Anything but accounting for me. It would make my heart weep to pore over financial statements and puzzling over numbers all day long.

As far as he’s concerned, my siblings and I have achieved what he and my mom wanted us to. All of us did all right in our studies, graduated and got stable jobs. My folks have done their part and did it well. And I am every grateful to them for providing so well and doing their best for me.

But I have a gnawing feeling in my gut that my Heavenly Father has something more in mind. That this is not all there is to the one life He has given me. The future is still one big blob of blur to me. I always thought that the older we get, the more certain we are of what lies ahead of us. But alas, that is not so. In fact, I was more certain and convicted of things when I was in college than at present.

Perhaps it’s the realisation that life has more shades of gray than black and white that influenced my present mindset. That I should always listen to both sides of the story first and try to see the bigger picture before making snap judgements and conclusions.

Perhaps also, it’s the disappointments that came one after another when things I was so certain about end up crumbling to pieces. It makes one think twice before being certain of anything.

If it were not for the hope that life is not yet done, and that the future is affected by how I respond to present setbacks, it would have been extremely difficult to let go and move on and not give up on myself. It would have been impossible to believe that yes, this, too shall pass.

As I lay on the bed, my heart was awashed in a great surge of joy and gratitute. I am but an unfinished story. This is not the end. There are many more chapters to go through. And with the Great Author by my side, I know it will be beautiful.

I had a mixed weekend. Pleasant and meaningful because time was spent with dear ones who came to visit. And bleh because I needed to churn out reports at the boss’ last minute request.

Someone sent me this link and really, to a music lover/guitar player, it’s one of the greediest things in the music industry we’ve witnessed.

I really don’t see anything wrong in publishing guitar chords/lyrics/tabs online. If anything, it is a good marketing tool. Just look at More Than Words – the favourite song a budding guitar player would pick up on. It has only succeeded in endearing the song in the hearts of many and kept it evergreen.

For the same reason, I don’t/couldn’t sing songs by certain Christian music labels because the lyrics are not made available online. Sites who used to feature them have been told to remove the content or risk being sued. And I can’t introduce these songs to others because I don’t have the lyrics nor the chords to play it for their pleasure.

I also heard that the fees to play music online will be/have recently been increased. This means that online streaming music services like Pandora will have a sizeable chunk of their profits gobbled up. As such they are forced to consider if it’s still a worthwhile business venture to be in and whether they should close shop. Horrifying thoughts indeed.

With such calculative moves, is it any wonder that piracy is on the increase? I don’t support nor condone theft and piracy, but removing lyrics/chords/tabs and increasing music streaming/airtime rates are just making music more difficult to access to the general public.

After all, sharing is caring.

My guy colleague and I were chatting with our boss over Skype when suddenly, our boss sent us the bear hug emoticon:

Followed by a

We blinked our eyes in shock. Has our boss developed a tendre for my guy colleague? Couldn’t be me – I’m so not his type :P

“Maybe he typed it in the wrong window,” I surmised. Perhaps the bear hug and kisses were meant for his wife.

Sure enough, right after the kiss, our boss immediately typed, “Whoops. Sorry, I chose the wrong emoticon!”

And a few minutes after that, “Everyone here at the meeting is having a great laugh too when I told them about it.”

The look of relief on the face of my guy colleague was priceless. Truly priceless.

A friend gave me a strange parting shot the other day. “Be careful of what you say. You never know how people may misconstrue it.”

I didn’t realise how prophetic those words are. For in the space of a day, I got to know of two instances where I was grossly misunderstood. The first involved a couple of friends which thankfully was rectified before things got blown out of proportion. The second incident happened because someone decided to paint a bad picture about me and spread malicious rumours between me and a guy I don’t even know. In that second case, I didn’t even have to say a word and the juicy rumours merrily floated along their way until they reached my ears. Now I know how celebrities feel.

In reference to the second case, it makes me wonder why people would target someone like me – a quiet inconspicuous person who minds her own business – and spread lies about her. Also, it puzzles me when people don’t clarify with me when they hear things about me. I would expect my friends to let me know about such things and verify if they were indeed true or not. I’m not a fragile brittle piece of fine china who must be protected from the tentacles of gossip mongers. The thing about gossip is the gossippee is not present to say her side of the story. I was gratified that my friends defended me on my behalf.

I learned a few things about those two episodes:

• Always listen to both sides of the story first before concluding the ‘case’
• Don’t be so eager to spread a juicy piece of rumour to all and sundry. If it turns out to be a lie, you’ll only look bad and silly.
• Miscommunication abounds especially in the written form. When in doubt, clarify, clarify, clarify. Better still, call that person and meet up face to face.
• If you hear someone badmouthing your friend and telling you to keep it a secret, tell your friend. I’m glad my friend told me about this – at least I now know why a few folks have been giving me strange looks. And I could prepare myself for any onslaught of questions that may come my way. Better the devil you know than the one you don’t.
• There are times when the best thing to do is to remain silent and not vehemently defending yourself. Truth will surface in the end. Just have to make sure that you are right before God and leave vengeance in His hands.

And last but not least, don’t be a part of the rumour monger chain. You may not have murdered anyone at gunpoint but you may have unknowingly killed countless of characters, desecrated their names and caused chaos in their lives. Surely that’s not something you want to be remembered by.

Best way to nip a rumour in the bud? Get it from the horse’s mouth.

I’m a night bird.

You Are a Night Person

For you, there’s nothing worse than having to get up and moving early. In fact, you probably don’t hit your peak until well after the sun has set. So if your struggling to make it on a normal schedule, realize it’s not your fault. You just weren’t meant to do anything during the day!

Well, it’s that time of the year again – giving performance appraisals to my staff. Not an easy thing to do, I can assure you. For feedback works both ways.

I suppose giving performance reviews are beneficial to both the appraiser and the appraisee. Firstly, before giving feedback to others, I need to take a hard look at myself. The last thing I’d want is a pot calling the kettle black scenario.

“Wah, you think my work sucks ar? You think you so great yourself meh?”

That would be an absolutely nightmarish type of response. Every manager’s nightmare.

Secondly, the performance appraisal must be objective, offering constructive points of improvement and giving credit where credit is due. It’s hard to strike a good balance. I find myself wanting to spare their feelings and at the same time wanting them to improve for the company’s sake.

Thirdly, giving them the opportunity to air their grievances and points of improvement so that they can work and develop better. If the first two parts are well taken care of, this part should go smoothly, too. For when the employee feels that you care for their growth and welfare, they will be gracious in their feedback as well. And it’s always better to hear their grievances now rather when they are handing their resignation letter to the company. Better nip problems in the bud.

But still. It’s not really a time I look forward to. Kinda like my annual trip to the dentist. You know it’s good for you but it can be a painful experience if handled wrongly.

Or shall I say backlog!

Gah!

Just a note for those who are curious – Phantom was awesome! It took my breath away literally. Of course, it was not perfect, but man, I was suitably impressed. More pics and stories to come later. Stay tuned.

* Updates The journey

Was smooth. We travelled in comfort and style. Just look at me getting comfy on the plush seats at the ‘ground floor’ of an Aeroline bus. The food’s not bad either. I travelled light and so, did not bring my baby along. But my dad’s digital camera was a great travelling companion :)

Were hospitable and friendly. Our friends who work in Singapore brought us around. On top of that, I managed to visit some dear old rellies who immediately embarked on a mission to fatten me up.

Now I really like eating and all but really, there is such a thing as too much food :P Which brings me to the next point…

The food

Was very, very nice. Gone were the days where I ate noodles slathered in tomato sauce. The food courts have spruced up and my aunt’s cooking was as delectable as always.

Was totally rad. Got some cute shoes and craft stuff (that I can’t find back home!). Would have done more damage to my wallet had I stayed longer. Heck, I wish I could have stayed a couple of days more so that I can explore more shopping malls!

The show

Was mind-blowing. The props, hundreds of costumes, actors and full orchestra worked so well together. Everything was top class and realistic looking i.e. the river truly "felt" like a river. The Esplanade Theater a.k.a the Durian was a great place to stage it in. My only gripe about the performance was that the woman who played Christine lacked volume – it was hard to discern the words she sang at times. The Phantom was magnificent. Even when his voice drops, one can clearly make out his words.

If possible, do try to sit at the first row of seats at your category. I was unfortunate to be on the second row and seated behind a girl who loves to lean on the railings AND put her hands together in the form of a shadow play thus effectively blocking my view. The top half of my body had to constantly move in the opposite direction of whichever way she so pleases to turn to. Gah.

Thankfully the show was so marvellous that at many points I found myself feeling so tempted to sing along with the cast. It was all I could do to stop myself from singing. After all, the audience did not pay all that money to hear me sing. After the show ended, i was one of the many people who left the hall humming happily to ourselves.

Was satisfied. In the face of such delicious foodies and being the performance art hub of South East Asia, Singapore doesn’t seem like a most unlikely place for me to reside anymore. Truly, Singapore is giving Malaysia a run for its money.