Last Friday must have been the worst day in my working history – relationally speaking, that is. To summarise the day, this is what happened:

• A colleague that I thought was mature, kept insisting on resurrecting a horrible experience at work which had nothing to do with her, but was very traumatic for me and misrepresented the current status of my company’s management – in front of the new hires. She actually thought it was funny and that I should count that moment as a ‘good’ experience. Boy, that got me fuming.
• Another colleague who was close to me freaked out for some mysterious reason and avoided me like the plague for the last part of the afternoon, and ignored my messages asking her if there’s anything wrong and if she wants to talk.
• I was thoroughly irritated by Alec who was just innocently asking for help in some work-related matter.

On the way to my cell group meeting after work that day, I thanked God that though my cell members were very young (they are mostly youths), they are mature and sensitive enough to not use the past traumatic incidences I shared with them against me or as a laughing matter. I thanked God that our cell group is a safe place to share our hearts, joys and sorrows knowing that we will still be loved and accepted.

Towards the end of the cell group meeting, I shared with them briefly about what happened and requested for prayer for reconciliation to those relationships and that God will give me more grace in relating to my colleagues, even the weird ones. Rina said God allowed those incidences to happen to see how I would respond to them and to mould me to be a better person.

Her comment made me realise that as I grow deeper into the area of inner healing and prayer counseling, I wouldn’t be able to last long there if I don’t have the love and grace of God in dealing with people when they are behaving in an unlovable manner. I could amass all the theories and know-how in what makes people tick but if I have not love, I am nothing but a resounding gong or clanging cymbal (1 Cor 13:1-3).

The black Friday experience was a humbling one. I realised that God has never intended for us to avoid people that we don’t like or withdraw from people who don’t like us. Whenever any of these happens, we need to examine our heart attitudes and see where we can change.

First thing in the morning today, I had a good talk with the colleague who avoided me on Friday. I suspected that something bad must have happened on Friday to make her behave so, and it was true. I smiled at the colleague who brought up that traumatic incident, and at Alec’s comments this morning. I was conscious to smile and be gracious in my speech to those who asked for help today. And it’s only the beginning of Monday. Still have quite a few more hours to go… heh.

It’s just so easy to be curt and brief when you have a million things to do, but it doesn’t make it right. So today, being the first day of the week and before the bulk of the work begins, my prayer is that I will be conscious of God throughout the week and be a channel of blessing to my colleagues – even when things are relationally chaotic.

Updates:It’s night-time now and am very glad to report that everything’s peachy now with all three colleagues. Even laughed at Alec’s jokes which actually seemed funny to me now. Would wonders never cease.

This post was inspired by a question from Vagus.

How doth I admire the brainy Grissom? Let me count the ways…

1. He is not a perfect leader (who is, anyway?) but he gives his best shot to be a fair and good one.
2. He gives second chances to those under him even when they mess up.
3. People feel safe in confiding with him because he can help them, can keep a secret and doesn’t judge them.
4. He doesn’t jump into conclusions – he lets the evidence speak for itself ;)
5. Last but not least, he may be the oldest in the team but he is still very hunky for his age! Kinda like George Clooney… with a superbly analytical and impartial brain.

Disclaimer: This has absolutely no relevance to the author’s preference for her dream guy ;)

This post looks outdated because it was written on 9th Sept 2004. Took a look at my drafts folder and felt it was the right time to post this today. Maybe because I just watched Collateral yesterday ;)

My chum Rina and me

I didn’t know I was experiencing some symptoms of a disease that is quite the opposite of verbal diarrhea. That is, until I called Rina up a few nights ago to ask her come out to watch a movie with a guy friend.

Me: Hey, are you interested in watching that Tom Cruise movie?
She: I have no car leh.
Me: It’s ok, I can pick you up wan.
She: Dunno lah… just don’t feel like watching movies.
Me: Welll, you know what ah…
She: Aha! I knew it!!!
Me: What? What? What did I say??
She: There’s something on your mind.
Me: But… but… how did you know?
She: I know you… When you say, “You know what?” it usually means there’s something on your mind and you absolutely need to share it.

It was then that I realised that she was absolutely right. It’s been months since we hung out with each other – just the two of us. There was so much to share with her that I suddenly felt that if we do not meet, my mind would literally explode.

“You know what?” I said again (naturally, because I do indeed have tons in my mind to share with her). “Let’s meet up tonite.”

“What about the movie and your friend?”

“We haven’t confirmed anything yet. We’ll all go some other time. Tom Cruise will always be there but it’s rare for us to have a mutually free time together.”

“Ok!” The way she said it sounded like she had tons to share with me, too. Absolute coolness!

So I ended up meeting with Rina instead. And had an absolute blast of a time compared to watching Tom Cruise being an assassin.

I mean, girl chums can be so much better than the best of guy/boy friends. I feel that no one can understand me as well as a girl can. Of course I don’t mean every Thomasina, Delilah and Harriet can be a girl’s best friend. She must be:

The Angel who made my day last Friday called me excitedly yesterday afternoon.

She said she was out for lunch when she saw a lady sitting by herself in the coffeeshop. Angel asked her if she could have the vacant seat next to her, was warmly welcomed and the two began to chat about their children and families. The lady’s husband came by later and upon hearing Angel referring to God a few times in the conversation asked her if she was a Christian.

“Oh, yes I am!” Angel said enthusiastically.

“Which church do you go to?” the man asked.

“DUMC.”

“What a coincidence, my daughter goes there, too.”

“What’s her name?”

“Ariel the Coolcat.”

The lady at the table and her husband were my parents! It took me a while for the fact to sink in and I was amazed. I still am.

Pure serendipity. That’s what it is :)

when I needed help,
a miracle
and a word of affirmation
God sent His angels to
deliver that miracle
and tell me what I most needed to hear
when I needed to hear it.

I’m lost for words
I can only say
‘Thank You, Lord
for knowing
for caring.’

I’ve had a load of things mulling in my mind recently. Among those things was one ministry that I have a passion for, am involved in but recently having some difficulties in carrying the load alone. Day in, day out, I plodded on with some despair lurking and growing at the back of my mind.

During the recent prophetic conference, some of the strangers who prophecied for me gave me the word ‘Persevere’.

“Does it mean anything to you?” one of them asked.

“Yes, it does. Thanks…” I said. I sensed that the word was for this particular matter.

I didn’t think about it since then. When I went to that spiritual retreat at Fraser’s, I was led to write down my life goals and mission. It was very clear then which paths the Lord wants me to trod. I made some commitments up there to stick through those ministries even though the going will be tough.

It did get tough and I was losing heart and motivation by the day. A few days ago, I just cried out to the Lord for help. This has been my prayer for the past few weeks. I didn’t know what else to say. And I can’t think of anyone who can help me but God alone. Everyone else seems to have their own problems and load to carry. Heh, ever feel that way sometimes?

When I reached home that day, I got a call from someone unexpected. In that one call, she told me of some of the things she had done which benefitted my ministry greatly and said how it impacted her loved ones and told me that I was doing a great job. I felt a burst of joy in my heart. Boy, haven’t felt that way in a loooong time. All these while, I thought I wasn’t that good and wondering where this ministry is heading and is it actually doing any good to anyone. And the angel of God who called me had no idea that I was feeling this way. But she called just when I most needed to hear it.

Today, during a demonstration prayer counseling session for someone at the Elijah House class, the love and presence of God was so strong that I teared up a little.

I haven’t been making a lot of effort to get close to God lately because of these issues mulling in my mind. But God’s love has a way of getting to me somehow. And I’m humbled. There’s just no escape from it.

That’s God’s love, I guess :)

Another ‘romantic’ night out yesterday.

Under the moonlight.

By the poolside.

My colleagues and I having quiet chats in the balmy night while enjoying the glorious food.

However, all good moments must come to end eventually.

When we felt the mosquitoes abuzzing, we fled the scene and retreated into the air-conditioned house.

Nothing kills romantic moonlight nights more than mosquitoes.

Beware the aedes!

“Happy Valentine’s day,” he wished me over the phone yesterday morning and proceeded to lay down the plans for the night. And thus began a very enjoyable and meaningful Valentine.

Instead of spending the most romantic night of the year with hunky Gil Grissom (CSI Season 4), I get to spend it with Paul… and his parents.

And so the stage was set. I battled through the day getting the office connected to the Net by alternative means because Streamyx was down. When I finally managed to get online, Paul almost immediately sent an instant message.

“You are still in the office? Better leave soon because I’ll need to pick you up earlier.”

Thrilled at the thought of meeting his folks again, I left the office and chose my garment for the night – a cut-off jeans shorts very much akin to Incredible Hulk’s and an old grey baby T. Perfect to meet the folks ;)

The dude came about 20 minutes late. I understand completely. Knights in days of lore have to battle against dragons and evil warlords. These days, they have to battle the massive traffic jams. Hee…

On the way to pick his parents up in KL, it rained suddenly. Ah, just the thing for a cool romantic night out. Perfect!

Oh yes, indeed, I was grinning to myself in utter happiness and making small talk with the driver.

… And so were Mei Fong and Rina who were seated together with me in Paul’s car.

Gotcha!

Heh! Anyways, this Valentine’s, we decided to treat Paul and his folks a nice dinner for their wonderful hospitality whilst we were in Perlis. Lina and Rina also joined in the merry throng. We had a nice dinner at Mega restaurant – the helpings were awfully small though. Rina commented that seeing Mr and Mrs Sebastian again made her feel that we were back in Perlis again. Yeah, come to think of it, at night, every town in Malaysia would look almost like each other.

The highlight of the day was the ride back home. We made some jokes about some hilarious stuff that may make for good blog fodder some other time. Soon, we asked Uncle Paul for a guy’s perspective on matters of the heart. Turns out that he was a really worthy Dr. Love in his own right. We were really enlightened by what he shared. You go, Uncle Paul!

Oooh, and what’s Valentine’s Day without gifts? My colleague gave me a huge bottle of perfume (Lancome!!) and my boss treated us to a sumptious Yee Sang lunch. Another director gave us angpows and also a book for Harjit and me to read.

So, far from being just another regular day, Valentine’s day took a strange but very nice turn this year.

For who would have thought that I’d have dinner that day with a guy, his parents and four girls. Hee!

This year, I could not exactly follow the tradition set in the precedent years. When I asked my mom about the plans for the first day of Chinese New Year, she told me that my eldest sister and hubby will be visiting us in the morning, go through the normal Chinese New Year family angpow tradition and then proceed to have lunch as a family.

“What’s your plans for tomorrow?” my mom asked me back.

“The usual – visit Flo and some of my other friends. Why did you guys decide to have a family lunch instead of our usual dinner?”

“I don’t know, your dad thinks it’s good to have a change in our yearly schedule. That’s all,” mom said.

I thought traditions were supposed to be about doing the same things in the same way every time the same event happens. Apparently, in my dad’s books, traditions are not carved in stone. Grrrr….

“But I already have an understanding with my pals about what we should do on the first day of Chinese New Year. It’s a tradition thing,” I explained to my mom.

“You don’t have to join us if you don’t want to,” mom said gently. “But it’ll be good if you could… Not that I’m forcing you, of course.”

But I could see the mixture of hope and disappointment in her eyes. Mom really knows how to get to me… heh. Oh, it’ll be so lovely to spend time with my eldest sis and hubby together with my folks and bro.

Arrggh… friends or family first???

There was not much competition. Flo was very understanding and so I still got to visit her, Chee Hong and Siew Fun in the afternoon and Ben came over with a colleague to say hi. Ben is a strange friend. I’ve known him since 5 years ago but the total sum of our acquaintanship is 6 days or so. With each ‘day’, he transformed from the ultimate gentleman to quite a mischievous cad. Nothing I couldn’t handle, of course *ahem* I soon put him in his place today when he said something quite uncalled for.

So it’s not true that men are like wine and grow better with age. Some of them actually degenerate!

At night, I visited Rina, her neighbour and Jin Yee. Visiting Jin Yee in his new home was like a walk back into memory lane. He was our old church’s photographer and the guy has been keeping the old photos of our crazy days back then. He brought them all out today and Rina and I had a great laughabout session at those funny pics.

“Hey, who’s this guy??”

“Omigosh, did I really do THAT???”

“Can I burn this photo? Bury it or something? It’s soooo embarrassing!”

Hee hee! Rina and I took those photo albums back for me to scan. It’s just so interesting to see how much we’ve all changed through the years. But those days were one of the best in terms of the bonds of friendship that were build and has been tested through time. Till today, some of our closest friends come from that circle. We just could not find any other that can match that level of closeness. Though our church days together have ended, I’m glad that the fires of friendship are still burning steadily.

Miss those guys lots, though…

Click on the photo above to check out my Fraser’s pics courtesy of MF.

It’s a lovely, lovely establishment. I could smell the scent of fresh roses all around the house. The tea was superb and so were the sinfully delicious scones…