My body – namely arms and knees – has been bruised and sore for the past two days. There’s this scene where I was tossed around by my ‘hubby’ and it was quite a rough experience not only for me but also the poor camera man who had to take some close-up shots and I fell on him at one point.

Now I have a glimpse how physically abused victims feel when they are man-handled by the abuser. And it’s a bleak and horrible picture. The fear and sheer helplessness that paralyses one. The shock and horror at seeing your spouse whom you dearly love turning into an abusive monster. The cries and pleas that fall on deaf ears.

*shudder*

[url=http://thestar.com.my/news/archives/story.asp?ppath=%5C2004%5C10%5C24&file=/2004/10/24/features/9200304&sec=features]Statistics[/url] show that there were 2,555 domestic violence cases reported in Malaysia in 2003. The actual number of unreported cases might be even more alarming – knowing our culture of not wanting to air dirty linen in public.

I personally do not know anyone who’s currently in a physically abusive relationship but if I do, I’ll tell them to get themselves away from the abuser as far as possible. With immediate effect. The abuser needs help and you are not in the position to help him or her. To remain in such a demeaning and disrespectful relationship is to die a little every time it happens. Your life may very well be in danger.

It nearly freaked me out acting just that one night in such a situation. I can’t imagine actually living through such an agony in real life. My little bruises are a very minor affair compared to the emotional and physical trauma that the real life victims go through. My heart goes out to you.

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[i]Dear Dr. Love,

I really like this girl named Kylie* and I pray that she may see the true love, sincerity, strength, goodness, and potential in me and find it in her heart to contact and communicate with me so that we may be friends and understand each other. Please pray that God may give her peace of mind, strength, courage, and a joyful heart.

Thanks and Best Wishes,
John*

* Names have been changed to protect the innocent[/i]

Dear John,

Thanks for writing. I may be wrong but it sounds like a case of a love that never had a chance to bloom because you never started any sort of friendship with her. Perhaps you are admiring her from a distance and are waiting for a sign from her before you make your move.

Well, John, the best part about being a guy is you [b]can[/b] make the first move without the girl giving you any signals first. It’s perfectly ok and demonstrates confidence to the girl that you are pursuing. This is always a good thing.

Praying for the right time to do things is good but your prayer request is that of asking God to make her see the good things in you. That sounds a bit passive. Remember, a faint heart can not hope to win the hand of a fair damsel.

You mention your hopes to start a friendship with her. You can start by saying hi to her and making small talk whenever you bump into her. Or hang out with your mutual friends if possible. I wouldn’t recommend you joining a ministry or a social group that you are not keen of just because you want to spend time with her. To thine own heart be true.

You sound like a nice person – someone that any girl would be honoured to be friends with. So, if you sense that this is the right time for you to make your move and start a friendship with her, go for it. Bear in mind that as you get to know her better, you will most probably discover that she may not be all that you fantasize her to be. That’s the danger on admiring someone from afar.

In conclusion, nothing will happen if you keep staying in the background. But when you initiate a friendship with her, you would stand a good chance of gaining a friend. I wish you all the best.

Dr. Love

Hah, don’t be fooled by the title of this post. But some days, we really do feel like we are filming a typical HVD-like Chinese drama.

Acting is no easy feat. The tools of the trade are one’s ability to portray the necessary emotions through facial and body expressions, being totally comfortable and un-self-conscious in front of the video camera and watching audience and of course, looking convincing for the role – often times with the aid of make-up.

Sometimes I feel like a puppet being pulled by the directors’ whim and fancy. And sometimes despair at my naturally pouty mouth. Many times, I thought that I was projecting happiness and joy but the directors would say, “Ariel, smile! You are supposed to be happy for this scene!” And I would groan to myself, “But I’m smiling already! See the lilt on the edges of my mouth??” Grrrr….! Now, I understand why actors pump their lips with silicone… hee!

It helps a lot when your fellow casts are natural actors. It’s so easy to act when we are all engrossed in the story and in the roles that we play.

And for research, we watch a lot of related movies from an actor’s point of view – to see how we can portray a certain type of character convincingly. Even while walking on the street or shopping complexes, I will stop to observe how people in different stages in life walk and talk with each other.

We’ve been video shooting for two weeks now and we still have a long way to go. But everyone is committed to getting it done by hook or by crook. It’s made bearable by the producer who never failed to keep us in stitches with his corny jokes, teasings and untimely burps. And there are some other cheerful and patient souls keeping our spirits hale and hearty.

Despite the long hours and hard work involved, I cherish every moment spent because each production is different and we’d probably not work with the exact same people in our current roles again.

Turns out that J-son was too busy to get those fake eyelashes and he assigned [url=http://surfgod.blogspot.com/]Chris[/url] to do it instead. I checked out Chris’ blog today and found that he went through a similar thought cycle like J-son.

Later on at the video shoot location (J-son’s house), Chris was the one who carefully peeled off the eyelashes from the box and gave us girls instructions on how to glue it and stick it to the base of my eyelashes. All this from reading the short manual which came with the box. Is he a natural or what? Without him there, we girls will still be struggling trying to peel off those dratted eyelashes. You da man, Chris!!! :D

In the flurry of getting ready for tonight’s video shoot, the video director, the make-up artist, the wardrobe manager and the actress herself forgot to get an important glamourizing tool – false eyelashes.

None of us girls were anywhere near a Sinma-like shop nor did we have flexi working hours to traipse over to a shopping center to get it.

Then I had a brainwave. I knew someone who HAS flexi working hours and IS near a shopping mall. The only thing was, he’s a guy.

Never mind, I thought to myself. He’s the producer after all. He’ll surely do it for the good of the production. So, I dialed his number.

“J-son, are you free to do some shopping for me?” I asked.

“What do you want me to get?” his friendly voice asked back.

“False eyelashes,” I said and held my breath.

Total silence at his end.

“Err… wouldn’t they think I’m gay or something?” he finally ventured out.

“Well, desperate times call for desperate measures. You are the only person I can think of who can get those eyelashes for me, J-son,” I persuaded him.

“Ok, I’ll do it,” he said with what I imagined to be a brave grin.

Praise God for his courage!

Another person I would like to appreciate is Rina. The downside of acting in so many scenes in different stages in life is that I need to have a HUGE and VARIED wardrobe. The bald fact is, I’m no fashion diva and I dress mainly for comfort, not so much for style.

Yesterday night, Rina accompanied me for some shopping and then suggested that instead of buying those things, I can borrow them from her instead. So we rushed to her house and spent a few hours trying out the clothes in the wardrobes of her sisters, mother and herself. Man, she is truly a life saver!!!

Thanks, pals! Wouldn’t know what to do without you!

We are indeed moving on with the times! Here’s yet another corny poem to grace the pages of your friend’s autograph book (that is, if it’s still in trend now…). Got this fresh from my mail box:

Good friends are like COMPUTERS
I ENTER your life…..
I SAVE you in my heart…
SAVE & FORMAT your problem….
COPY & PASTE your kindness….
and never DELETE you from my MEMORY….

Secondary School days:

1. My best friend, Florence – Although I knew her throughout my primary school days, we never did get the opportunity to know each other better until Form 1. She came slightly late to our very first class that afternoon and when our eyes met, we exchanged cheeky grins and we became so inseparable that friends soon start calling us the Siamese twins. Even to this day, whenever I bump into old class mates, they would look around and asked me, "Hey, where’s Florence?"
2. Tommy Page – Back then, he was the hottest thing to ever walk on this planet. My friend Carol and I have collected all his albums and we spent hours and hours dreaming about him singing to us. After a year or so, the craze just died down for no particular reason. I was aghast to find out later that most people I talked to didn’t like him and thought he was a 10 sen boy (don’t really know what it means but I think it’s not flattering!). Blame it on the heady fantasies that one is bound to have when one is young.
3. Malaysian Post – I would religiously buy a copy of Malaysian Post every week and exchange snail mails with pen pals. I even got a bottle of lucky stars from some sweet guy in Seremban for my birthday! Some of the funny stories I sent were also published there. It was a real cool publication for youths back then. I wonder why it stopped circulation but had outgrown it when that happened.
4. Personalised Stickers – We would place our orders for stickers which contained our names and home address with some girls in class who were the ’sticker agents’. The first and only set I ordered was the Smurf-designed ones with the tagline "I’m your friend for always". Yup, I was that mushy back then. Heh!
5. Autograph books – I wasn’t really crazy about signing friends’ autograph books but it would seem rude if I refused to do so. Every girl would do her creative best to decorate her space in the book. Pressed flowers, pretty bookmarks, perfumed stickers and kiddy poems were all the rage. I even got myself an autograph book which lasted me till college days but gave it up when e-mails and guest books came into the scene.

   Sample kiddy poem:

   Drink hot coffee
   Drink hot tea
   Burn your lips
   And remember me

   Sample corny anagram: I-T-A-L-Y

   I
   T rust
   A nd
   L ove
   Y ou

6. Twin Peaks & Kyle Maclaghlan – Florence and I were addicted to this series (more so because of hunky Kyle than anything else!). But when the story started becoming twisted and crazy, I lost interest in it. It got way too weird for my tastes.
7. My school library has stacks and stacks of Enid Blyton, Agatha Christie and Trixie Belden books. I became a librarian so that I could borrow two books at a time instead of just a measly one. In between homework, I would consume a book a day. Those were such glorious times :)

Yesterday, after donning a school pinafore for a video shoot, I felt a rush of nostalgia as I recalled the things that made me happy when I was at school. Here’s the first of my Nostalgia series.

Primary School Nostalgia:

1. [b]The Milo or Nescafe van[/b] that dispenses delicious free drinks. My friends and I would get so excited when we see the vans coming into the school compound and hurry to take our place in the long queue. I’ve tried to experiment on various ways to make those drinks myself but I never could come close to the concoction contained in those drink vans. Smart guys.
2. [b]Project Susu Sekolah[/b] – every time the order forms came along, I would never fail to place my order for the chocolate milk. When the new corn flavoured milk was introduced, I tried it but found that the chocolate one tasted better. I wonder if this milk project is going on. Or maybe they stopped after one of their strongest supporters (me!) left primary school. Hmmm…. I also wonder why they did not extend the program to secondary school students. After all, everyone under 20 years old need all of milk’s wholesome goodness they can get in their growing years.
3. [b]Paper and Barbie dolls[/b] – For 10 sen a piece, you can get a whole set of cool-looking clothes in paper cut-out form which you can drape upon a cute little girl (in paper cut-out form too, of course). Many happy hours were spent designing more paper clothings for my dolls. A few years down the road, I upgraded to the ultra cool Barbie doll which my mom generously bestowed upon me. I didn’t like Barbie’s overgrown ‘assets’ but there weren’t any other more decent subsitutes so I had to make do with it. I disliked boys in general back then so it never crossed my mind to pair up Barbie with silly-looking Ken.
4. [b]Kum Kum and Chickadees[/b] – Why have they stopped making these scrumptious snacks? Why???
5. [b]Remington Steele, Indiana Jones and Superman[/b] – My childhood heroes! My sisters and I will spend many happy weeknights in front of the TV drooling over these gorgeous men. [i]Note: I was shocked and greatly saddened to hear of Christopher Reeve’s demise last week. His courage and spirit will live on. Rest in peace, Superman.[/i]
6. [b]Bus trips to KL[/b] – Going to KL with mom for a shopping spree was a very rare and precious treat. Back then, the busses to KL were not air-conditioned and the Federal Highway was dusty but my siblings and I would compete to be chosen for the occasional trip there. Mom was fair and would make sure that everyone gets their turn to go. Of course, being so young, I didn’t have the funds nor know-how to shop but when a delightful book catches my eye, I will tug at my mom or dad’s clothes and ask if I could get the book. I couldn’t recall them ever turning my requests down. But then again, I didn’t ask for much.

   [i]To be continued…[/i]

I’ve been down with flu for the past few days (immunity was low due to the lack of rest). And the only thing that cheered me up was the fact that I lost 1 kg through the whole ordeal. But that one kg was quickly regained when my appetite came back with a vengeance yesterday. Heh.

Thus, for the past few days I was battling within myself. Should I take medical leave or shouldn’t I? It was not a very clearcut decision, you see. I was feverish but not to the extent that I could not drive myself to work. My nose was runny but that was quickly stopped thanks to some anti-histamines. In all conscience, I could not bring myself to see a doctor and get an MC.

Zombie-like, I dragged myself from one meetings to another, stared blankly at the computer screen trying to organise my thoughts but all I could see in my mind’s eye was curling up in my comfortable bed with an Agatha Christie book and flinging all my worldly cares to the wind. And when I reach home, I indulged in that fantasy and that made life look sweeter even when I was as sick as a dog.

My fever broke about yesterday evening. I knew that I had recovered when I found myself looking forward to tackling a work assignment and relishing the dinner I was going to have with some dear friends that night. Plus my appetite came back with a bang.

I think the worst part of being sick is that it zaps most of the joy of living out of you. Some people say that being sick is your body telling you to STOP enjoying life so much and START resting. There’s a balance between the two and when the balance is upset, you get sick or you get into a rut.

By the way, just in case you are wondering about the title of my blog entry, my flu bug was mighty infectious. I got it from Harjit, my colleague. And now it seems that my boss has caught it from me. Like me, he still managed to take some cheer out of it.

“I think that since I’ve grown thinner, I seem more susceptible to illness,” he declared proudly to some of us today and patting his trimmer stomach while his nose was running merrily away.

Hmmm… I wonder if he’ll be on MC tomorrow… *hopeful grin*

Okay lah, I repent. I shouldn’t be happy about my boss being sick, right? Right??