Came back home early today and tried to watch a DVD but after 1 hour, I couldn’t take it anymore. I slept like a log for a about 4 hours before being woken up by my project mate, T. And now, even though I’m still tired and bleary, I find it difficult to sleep back just like that. So, it’s a good time to blog some prattle.

Now about T, looking at our good working relationship now, it is difficult to believe that I had a very bad first impression of him and dreaded to be working on the same project together. Turns out that behind his obvious weaknesses lies a big and warm heart. Herein lies the lesson of not to be quick to judge others before getting to know their heart. Even if it takes a second or a third or even a tenth encounter.

I think that what lies in the core of someone’s heart is almost impossible to change and will be the building block of that person’s character. Thus, close-minded people would most likely always be close-minded and close-hearted in their dealings with others. I hope that no matter how many unpleasant encounters I have with others, it will not make me a jaded and skeptical person with a shrinking heart. I think the only remedy is to continually let God heal, refresh and enlarge my heart, and to surround myself with positive and refreshing people.

After all, someone once told me that you will be just like the people you hang around with if you hang around them long enough. Scary if you work 8 hours or more a day with people who have a traumatic influence and blazes a path of destruction wherever they go. So, be sure to source and keep positive friends around you (if that’s what you want to be lah).

Going back to bed now… I sense a yawn coming… *yawn*

Tiddlydoo for now!

Heeee… Didn’t manage to find the time nor emotional resources to pen down Nepal Day 2 during the weekend. Felt rather upset about it on Sat night. It’s a terrible thing not being able to do the things that one wants to do. Almost zilch on my creative juices tank now.

Anyway, yesterday’s Multiplication Party was very refreshing and fun to my soul. I went back feeling enriched and recharged. See, my cell group is multiplying to a Youth Cell group and I’ll be leading it. I never saw myself as a youth leader (I still don’t!) but the Lord has called me to this path at this time, and therefore, I avail myself. Sometimes, one has to do what one has to do.

The testimonies shared during the Multiplication Party truly encouraged me. One lady shared about the vision that God gave her. She saw a long railway track where each one of our cell members as part of the track. If one of us was missing or not fulfilling our part, the train will be severely affected. The length of the track is the enlargement of our territory.

Pr MH shared something which also brought hope to my weary heart. I could not understand why I am going through some rather humbling experiences at work through no fault of my own. But when he shared about Moses’ long and lonely years as a lowly shepherd, with no great career path on sight, I felt hope surging through my heart. Moses did not know that his years as a shepherd was a preparation ground for greater things ahead. He needed to go through that to remove all traces of pride in his life. Therefore, I took courage that God is likewise preparing greater things ahead for me, otherwise, He would not have permitted these trying circumstances upon me.

Today, it dawned upon me that one of my greatest fears is being under leadership which is directionless. No wonder I am so stressed when I’m going through it right now at work. Now that God has brought this issue smack dab on my path, I realised that even though things are quite bad, His joy can be my strength.

He has also sent close friends who are of great encouragement, accountability and support to my path – and that has helped immensely. Indeed I learned that I can be thankful to Him in all circumstances because He is a good God and will meet my every need. Praise You, Father…

This are getting crazy at work, and I’m meeting my colleagues to complete some documentation later this afternoon. When you have to work on the weekend on a doomed project, you know that something is seriously wrong somewhere.

If there’s one thing I learned from all this fiasco at work, it is this: without direction, a company will perish. The next company I join will be one which has a strong vision and a clear direction. But the one thing which I will miss sorely in my present company is the great working camaraderie that my colleagues and I share.

I really dislike job hunting and starting all over again at some new workplace. In my heart of hearts, I do wish that things did not turn out the way they did. I feel like being forced to come out of my comfort zone. And it’s painful… and scary.

And plain weird to be giving one’s best in a doomed project. But what needs to be done must be done, and done with excellence. So this weekend will be a hectic one and the outcome of next week is yet unknown to me and my colleagues. But God knows all. That is the sole comfort that I have now.

Just got back about an hour ago from the ‘interview’. It was more like an IQ test. The good news was, the HR person took one look at me and decided to recommend me for a second interview to the management. The not-so-good news was that I need to score well in the IQ test – to show whether I’m a logical person or not.

I certainly hope that the horrid fib about women not being logical creatures is not true in my case. The test had so many questions and drained out all of my brain juices that I just had to pamper myself with the fabulously delicious Caesar’s salad at Strudles just before coming home. Yummmm….

On the way back home as I reflect upon the recent events of my life, I just realised that although I’m going up level by level in terms of maturity, it was not a smooth ride at all. That contributes to the maturity, I guess. And I just realised that hey, I’m happy!

A happiness that is not hinged on a great job nor great circumstances but I’m just happy because my Father is holding my hand every step of the way. It’ll be great if I get to the second interview (again, asking for leave just makes my heart sink) and subsequently, the job. But even if I don’t, my Father will take care of matters and make a way where there seems to be no way.

My boss approved my leave and I will be attending the interview for the post I wrote about, tomorrow afternoon. I’m pretty excited about it and hope to share good news about it tomorrow. Please pray for me, ya?

God is awesome in making a way for me to attend this interview. You KNOW it’s not easy to get leave from my boss. ‘See’ y’all tomorrow!

Everything’s happening at the same time and clamouring for my attention. Now I know how a juggler feels like. At the same time, I haven’t been updating my webby on Day 2-14 of my Nepal Adventures because I had been feeling rather drained out in every sense of my being.

Imagine a dried out prune. Still functional and tasty but no refreshing prune juice to offer to others. That’s me in a nutshell. The terribly hot weather sort of speeded up the pruning process, too.

Been spending a lot of time with my Father during the weekend as perscribed by my faithful friend, Jude. Just worshipping Him with my guitar. As I sang some songs, my spirit quickened towards several of them which led me to a fruitful bible study and God just spoke volumes to me through His word.

Through the song ‘Prepare the Way’, I sensed that this wilderness that I’m going through is a preparation time for greater works ahead. That led me to Genesis 41:14 where the story of Joseph who was imprisoned for several years, was about to take a dramatic turn. Joseph interpreted the cup bearer’s dream and after the cup bearer was released from prison, he promptly forgot all about Joseph, who asked the cup bearer to put a good word for him to the Pharaoh. Joseph waited 2 more years in prison, when suddenly the Pharaoh released him from the prison in great haste.

According to Stormie O’Martian (Just Enough Light For the Step I’m On), the wanderings in the wilderness may seem to stretch on forever, until you start to wonder when is the breakthrough ever going to come? But God has been known to do a quick work when the preparation time has come to a completion. Long preparation time does not necessarily mean that I’ll be old and gray before my breakthrough comes.

That was really encouraging fodder for my tired self. Going for the Easter rehearsal tonight for a sudden cameo role. This is the most fun thing I’m doing this week! Hee!

Thoughts of a certain someone kept coming to my mind these past few days. And no matter how much I pray for them to be removed, they would spring up unbidden. *sigh*

And yesterday, my mom smiled and told me, “Guess who I met at the shopping complex in PJ today?”

Immediately I thought of that particular someone but chose to let my mom reveal it to me.

Sure enough, she mentioned that someone’s name.

It is very rare for my parents to venture out shopping in that location and the chances of them bumping into that person is very slim.

That made me go hmmm….

It seems that Malaysia has the shortest period of time for party campaigns and rallies. All political parties are given just 1 week to do their rah-rah to endear the public to them.

Mike looked out of our office window yesterday and saw the volunteers frantically putting up party banners and stickers. Ever the wit that he is, he said something funny.

“If you were to stand there long enough, they will most probably stick something on you, too.”

Haha.

Speaking of publicity, the previous ruling coalition put up ads on the local papers. Not to be outdone, the opposition parties printed out their own publications and distributed them with gusto to all and sundry. My family was driving out from our house for dinner yesterday when some volunteers came by and handed their newsletters personally to us. So now, we have both sides of the story and both sides of the promises made should each party win.

Ah well, I’ve already made up my mind who I’m going to place my vote on. Men will promise, but they may fail. However, God’s promises always come true. Let’s do our bit to vote and pray for a fair election and a just and discerning government.

Just feel like sharing this encouraging and touching message from [url=http://www.sheilawalsh.com]Sheila Walsh.[/url]

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Before I sign off, I want to ask you this…Do you know how much God loves you right now?

I remember the first time ever Christian (my son) had gone to bed without saying goodnight to me.

He was angry with me. He is a good boy, but he had been purposefully disobedient that evening. And the consequence was that he would have to miss his guitar lesson the next day. He had crossed a line and he knew it. There are very few hills that I would die on as a parent, but respect and obedience are non-negotiable fields.

After he had his bath, fresh-faced and hopeful in his pajamas, he tried to reposition himself.

“If I say ‘I’m sorry’ can I have my guitar lesson tomorrow?” he asked.

“No, darling. I’m glad that you are sorry, but you can’t have your lesson tomorrow.”

“That makes me so mad!” he said.

“I understand that but it was your choice.”

“You’re supposed to be my buddy!” he replied indignantly.

“I’m not your buddy. I love you much more than that. I’m your mom. I love you so much that I won’t say it’s okay for you behave disrespectfully.”

He walked away from me and got into bed.

I looked at the blond head turned defiantly to the wall.

“I love you, Christian. I love you when you make good choices and when you make bad choices. I love you on your best days and on your worst days. I love you when you love me and when you don’t. I will always love you, sweet boy.”

I sat in my bedroom and cried. Loving well is so hard.

Then I thought of the times without number when I have done the same thing to God.

“God I want you to do what I want you to do!”

“God I don’t like this!”

“God I thought you were my buddy!”

And God says, “I love you more than that.” I love you on your good days and on your bad days. I love you when you remember who I am and when you forget. I love you when you lift your face to me and when you hide your face.

“I love you.”

I love you.

Your great love reaches to the skies, your truth to the clouds. Psalm 57:10

May God bless and keep you and may His grace shine down upon you and give you peace.

With love,

Sheila

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Do you have friends who may appreciate this weekly message? If so, feel free to forward it on to them, and mention that they can receive this free weekly update by signing up at SHEILAWALSH.COM.
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For the first time in my life, God willing, I will be voting on this Sun’s Election Day. I registered five years ago, during the [url=http://www.hrw.org/campaigns/malaysia98/anwar-chronology.htm]Anwar[/url] fiasco but was sorely disappointed that registrations under 6 months from the date of election were not included in the registered voters list.

When I think about how women used to fight for the right to vote, and the many immigrants in my country who have absolutely no say in choosing their leaders, I am grateful for this privilege of exercising my rights as a Malaysian. I am shocked to discover many eligible Malaysians who have yet to register or who simply couldn’t be bothered about voting.

Come on, people – do not cast jaded eyes upon our local political climate. Get to know each party well – or at least what principles and causes that they champion, and what their track record for fulfilling promises are – to help you make an educated choice on who to vote.

Every vote counts. So, fellow Malaysians, do your part and have a say in how you want our beloved country to be governed.