Dad and I are back to normal again (hee, as expected!). So it’s a good end to a great year. Blood is always thicker than water and no matter what, he’ll always be my dad and I’ll always be his child.

2003 was a year of transition and growth. It was also a year of travel and adventure. Visiting many places I’ve never been before. It was the year where I gained back the close fellowship of my dear friend Rina who used to serve together with me in our old church. Now we are back and serving together again. It is a truly precious friendship.

Most importantly, it was the year where I learned more on how to make Jesus my all in all. This is getting to be an exciting journey. Just the other day I came across an old ‘Bon Voyage’ card from Mike, my uni mate in ‘97. He said that he could see lots of potential in me and said that I would be a good script writer one day.

I couldn’t describe the feeling I had when I read those words from long ago. The timing was just right, with the Wildflowers production that was recently staged and touched many hearts. This card from the past served as a confirmation that I am where I’m meant to be and doing what I’m meant to do. The floodgates of joy burst through my heart. God is so good! Even though I made mistakes in life, He gently guides and puts me back on the right path.

I doubt old Mike remembers what he wrote to me in the cute card. But God did. I am touched and in awe of His faithfulness to me.

Happy new year, folks. May the next year be one that is lived to the fullest just for Him!

Mr. Yap, my sis’ father-in-law passed away yesterday evening. At 7.20pm to be precise. I didn’t really know the elderly man much but what I heard of him filled me with great respect for his determination to complete his Bible reading.

He had read the Bible three times through and this year would have been his 4th time. He used a Bible reading plan which helps him read it through once a year.

Knowing that his time on earth was short, he asked one of his sons to read the last few pages aloud to him even when he was hospitalised on this Christmas eve. Alas, he passed away just two days before he could complete his 4th round of Bible reading.

Mr. Yap, I admire your tenacity and passion in reading God’s word in spite of the immense discomfort and pain that you went through. You are in a much better place now and enjoying the presence of the One who loves you so. May His comfort be upon your loved ones in their time of loss and grief.

My bro’s laptop crashed on him and simply refused to start up. It seems to be a power supply problem. The appreciation dinner photos are contained there and I’ve deleted quite a number from my digital camera. The reason I couldn’t upload those lovely pics previously was because we couldn’t get connected to the Net from home for the past few days.

The laptop incident is one of three techie-related disasters that happened to me. The other two include problems with my Touch-N-Go card (which was happily resolved today thanks to the courteous and helpful PLUS highway and PUTRA lrt staff) and also my Hotlink 64k card upgrade that never was.

Technology is supposed to make life easier. And they do. But when one is totally reliant on the convenience they bring, one gets frustrated when they fail to perform as expected.

God has been teaching me about cultivating the fruit of gentleness in my life through these incidences. Gentleness means accepting the things that happen in one’s life graciously and without retaliation. Think of Jesus when He was being wrongfully accused and allowed His persecutors to torture and crucify Him on the cross. He was meek and gentle because He fully trusted in His Father in all circumstances be they good or bad.

The three techno incidences did rattle me somewhat and I found solace in airing my grievances to my bro who is a gentle soul and loves me despite my quirks. There’s obviously still a long way for me to go in this gentleness department but I’m thankful for the lessons learned.

One encouraging thing I noticed was the quality of customer service in Malaysia – namely, PLUS, Putra LRT and Maxis Hotlink has increased notably. Even though I was irked by these technical problems, the customer service people were caring, friendly, knowledgeable and followed-through their promises. Even the PLUS gardener did his best to help me get to the right people and was instrumental in leading me to finally resolve my Touch-n-Go problem.

Yes, indeed, Malaysia semakin boleh :)
Malaysia can!

What a wonderful weekend! It was supposed to be a spiritual retreat with no adventurous outings whatsoever. But being three adventurous gals, we did explore a few new places nearby the apartment that we were staying. A generous couple made their place located at Selesa Hill Homes available to us and to friends who seek a quiet and cool place to get away from the madding crowd and be still before the Lord. We are so blessed!

What made it special was each of us leaving more enriched and empowered after our reflections on 2003 and resolutions for the year to come. I personally felt amazed and grateful when I see the hand of God leading me step by step to the path that He wants me to be. And I am excited at what He is going to do in 2004 and beyond.

2003 was a year of healing, learning to trust the Lord more and showing some more evidence of the fruits of the Spirit. Instead of aiming to conquer more travel terrains next year, my goal is to focus on exhibit more fruits of the Spirit and letting God mould my character to be more Christlike. That is the foundation of being a useful vessel of God.

I have been on a book-buying spree this year but next year I won’t be buying many books. I will read and re-read the ones in my library and apply them into my life. There is no point in reading many books when one does not apply a single truth contained in them. Even some one who only reads a thin book but applies all that she learns in it will benefit more than a know-it-all with no life transformation whatsoever.

My greatest motivation comes when I witness and participate in the life transformation of my life and others. To me, the transformation of a human heart is the utmost wonder of all. One which takes the form of an intricate and painful and yet, beautiful symphony of man working together with God.

I woke up Christmas morning with the word Forgiveness blaring at my sleepy eyes. I’ve had this Forgiveness poster at my room for a year now and today it finally got my attention. All right, all right. I shall wish my dad a Merry Christmas before leaving for church. Dad responded nicely to my greeting so it was a great start to a great day.

The church was packed to the brim when we arrived so we sat at the entrance and watched everything through the television set. Then after the Christmas service ended I hung around to greet friends and exchange prezzies. It was nice to note that this year I knew many more people compared to Christmas past when I was still relatively new to the church.

Of my many Christmas greetings, sms scored the highest in the way people choose to send their Christmas wishes this year. E-cards ranked second, and good old fashioned Christmas cards ranked third. One person sent his greetings via email. So it’s still encouraging to see Christmas cards having a higher preference over plain old email.

Then, we headed out for a Vietnamese lunch after Christmas service. This was our Christmas gift to my mom who absolutely loves trying out new eateries and absolutely dislikes receiving gifts which she can’t use. She’s not a flower person nor a trinket person either. So treating her for a good meal is the best way to go. A meaningful card or two is up her alley, too so it’s not difficult to bless my mom.

To end the day, we watched LOTR – Return of the King as planned and it was a truly satisfying conclusion to the trilogy. Won’t say more here so that it won’t spoil the experience for those who have yet to watch it. I have some comments on it in the More link. It is time… for me to read the book form of this movie when I can now finally visualise the faces and places mentioned in this lengthy (and draggy!) tome.

Note: The LOTR books are so different from the [url=http://www.narnia.com]Chronicles of Narnia[/url] which I find to be a fantastic read and easy to visualise. I highly recommend it. Continue Reading »

After one of the most harrowing weeks at work, I’m estatic to have Christmas day right at my doorstep. Definitely in the holiday mood. Except for one thing which rather dampens it…

I try not to think of the tension between my dad and I – he did show signs of softening up today but I’m kinda scared to be too hopeful about it. I’m still dealing with this “hope for the impossible thingy” – trying to digest it, trying to see whether I am able to exhibit the grace of God when the need arises.

I’m also tired… tired of seeing the same vicious cycle of communication that almost always leads to a downward spiral. Tired of seeing my hopes for a true reconciliation dashed to the rocks again and again.

And yet the feeling of sorrow and sadness comes everytime I think of dad and how I think that he’s never going to change.

The flip side of it is that I change what I can – myself and how I respond to dad. The closer the person is to you, the more knowledgeable he is in dishing out things which hurt you the most. And that’s what me and my dad do to each other. So what I really need to do is to relinquish this desire to give my dad a piece of my mind every time he crosses my turf and sensitivities. Rather I should wait until tempers have cooled down and then state my case respectfully to him. As his daughter, I should at least show him that amount of respect. This was insight I gained as I blog. Wonderful how God speaks to His children – even when they blog ;)

My mom is the peacemaker and highlighting our good sides to each other. My bro is also doing his part to patch up matters and trying to talk sense to me as I engrossed myself in wrapping Christmas prezzies. I do appreciate their support and concern but I’m not worried about the current situation.

Experience tells me that things will be patched up anyway and I’m actually enjoying a peaceful time-out when I don’t have to fear having a conflict-ridden conversation with dad. I know it sounds bad but I have no worries that the eventual reconciliation will take place. Frosty the Snowman will thaw out in my home pretty soon.

Having committed to my Heavenly Father my feelings about this matter earlier in the evening, I felt much better already and blogging this process helps remind me in future that if I should ever go through this rough patch again, there is always hope. If God has been there with me in this many times in the past, He will be there for me again in the future.

Tomorrow promises to be a pleasant day with my family at church and later on to watch the much awaited for Return of the King. Now, that’s something to look forward to ;)

Blessed Christmas everyone!

Just came back from the Punctuation Appreciation Dinner and it was really full of fun, suprises and of course, appreciation. Seriously. At almost every nook and cranny of the place, people could be seen waving frantically in recognition of a fellow servant of Christ, hugging each other, and exchanging words of encouragement and appreciation.

Josh and his team organised it very well. We had two rounds of very innovative ice-breakers. Like all our productions, this was team work all the way. We were broken into four different groups. The first ice-breaker had us guessing which line was it that the actor depicted in the projected photo was saying. I felt very confident of some of the photos because I co-wrote and co-directed the play but alas, got most of it wrong! The second game was guessing the object was depicted on the projected screen and which production was it used in. That was real tricky as we had to guess the bigger picture based on the intsy weensy piece of the photo. Now, I can see how people can get lost in the details and how hard it is at times to see the bigger picture.

The ice-breakers were interlaced with speeches of appreciation and testimonies from most of the leaders of the production. We were all given VCDs containing vibrant and colorful photos of the production(s) that we were involved in throughout 2003. This was a real sweet suprise gift to each one of us.

Thanks, Josh and his team for organising all these things to make this a truly memorable night. Tonight was a sweet reminder that serving in Punctuations is not just all about sweat and tears, but it’s a lot of fun and heavily laced with camaraderie, too.

Being involved in this young and dynamic ministry since last year, I was greatly encouraged to see so many new faces and the wonderful talents that the church has to date. What a privilege and honor to be serving the Lord together with such a great bunch of folks with great character and attitudes! I made many new and good friends which I would not have a chance to meet had it not been for this ministry.

Will post the photos soon. Connection is slooow now because my bro is downloading something big in the background. Nite-nite for now :)

Recently had a rift with dad which resulted in us steering clear away from each other’s hair for now. I find it very difficult to take kindly to his harsh words nor the way he communicates, and he simply couldn’t be bothered to change nor see the need to change. Times like these, I wonder if things will ever change. After all, the older a person gets, the more they are set in their own ways.

Still, the sermon last weekend was on believing the incredible and the impossible. Now this is something that I know I have to commit to God on ‘blind faith’ because I just can’t visualise it ever coming to pass. I wept when I heard the sermon. All my disappointments, hurts and anger towards my dad’s behaviour were brought to the surface. I guess, they have to be acknowledged before forgiveness can be released.

This has mostly been the case between me and dad – great communication has never been the hallmark between most traditional/typical Chinese dads and their kids. As he grows older and started attending cell meetings, the frequency of clashes have reduced somewhat but there is still a long way to go.

Somehow God convicted me through His Word that I should do good to those overseeing me even though they are not treating me well. This is the grace of God.

Do pray that I will be able to exercise this grace towards my dad and that in His time, our wounds will be healed and we will be able to relate with each other with love.

Recently, I’ve started tuning to the local English radio stations again. This is mostly due to me getting bored of my own collection of CDs and tapes. To my pleasant suprise, Radio 4 has come a long way. I grew up with Radio 4 blaring in the background. Somehow along the way, other hippier stations got my attention and I drifted away for years. I even forgot what channel it was on.

So anyway, thanks to the really cool DJ’s on the Breakfast show and Labour Pains, I’m back to being a regular Radio 4 listener. These DJ’s are well-read and did a lot of homework before coming on air. It’s amazing what I learned just by tuning to this channel during my daily commuting ritual. I learned:

1. That there are only 4 words in the English language that end with ‘dous’.

2. The fun behind Cryptic Carols. Try your hand at these:

2a. Personal 12th month desire for double central incisors
2b. I apprehended my maternal parent osculating with a corpulent, unshaven male in crimson
2c. The Slight Percussionist Lad
2d. I’m fantasizing concerning a blanched Yuletide

(these are but a few of the many more which I couldn’t recall now)

Note: For the answers to both questions, click on the More link!

I also never ceased to be amazed at the way those DJs talk. Call it verbal diarrhea or what you will but it requires skill to be able to blurt out rather intelligent words without seeming to process them painstakingly.

To the talented and fun Radio 4 DJs, my hat’s off to you. Continue Reading »

It’s starting to feel Christmassy here in the office. My colleagues and I have been invited to various Christmas dinners and we agonized over what to bring to those dinners. They were concerned with what to bring as a suitable gift for the host while I was attending a potbless dinner where all invitees were assigned to bring a Western dish cooked for 5-6 people.

Western dish, eh? Well, I could cook up some spaghetti but transporting it to the faraway dinner location doesn’t sound appealing. Actually, being the host makes it easier for food like that to be served. Since I am not the host and since I am a mere dinner guest who needs to travel quite a distance, I had to choose a dish that is compact and easy to cart. A simple no-nonsense and fuss-free dish. A takeaway. My colleagues and I pondered over a Domino’s brochure and I decided to go for the Chicken Lasagna. One colleague settled for a bottle of champagne and the other an apple pie. All takeaways. Nothing self-made.

Now before you start to think that urban girls don’t cook anything these days, let me say that we still do cook, but only when it’s practical and absolutely necessary.

Merry Christmas, everyone!