About the Hot and Cold Treatment
Dr Love dispenses some sagely advice to a recurring and disturbing pattern in friendship building:
Dear Dr. Love,
See, there’s this guy I like, and he’s getting me all confused! When we first got to know each other, he showered me with loads of attention and the next thing I know, he’s colder than a frozen salamander. He’s not answering my calls the way he used to and now he ain’t calling no more. I feel terrible because I don’t want to lose his friendship. What gives?
Confused
Dear Confused,
If it makes you feel better, you are not alone. I’ve received distressed calls like yours from more girls than I could count. Initially he sounded like he was interested in getting to know you more – that might explain his high level of interest. But now, he sounds as if he had lost interest in knowing you more and taking the friendship to the next level. Maybe he doesn’t want to lead you on and is putting the brakes on the friendship.
I know it is sad that this happened. Some people (and not just guys) would not have anything to do with a member of the opposite sex unless they are interested in going out with them or embarking on a relationship with them. They believe that there is no such thing as a platonic friendship between a guy and a girl. Your guy friend sounds like he may fall in this category. Take heart that there are many others who do not think the same way.
Don’t let this experience sour you though. Just accept your friend as he is and move on. May your next friendship encounter be a pleasant and long-lasting one.
Dr. Love
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